Some Tips on Legal Writing
Most of the following suggestions are taken
from Joseph M. Williams, Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace (1989)
1. Use specific verbs, adverbs and adjectives (avoid "nominalizations")
The intention of the client is the winning of the
case.
vs.
The client intends to win the case.
The decision of the government is the suspension of
the funds.
vs.
The government decided to suspend the funds.
2. Unless there is a good reason to do otherwise, make
the subjects of your verbs the agents of those actions (avoid "passive
voice")
Action on the part of the board of directors with
respect to the installation of pollution control equipment by the company must
be done soon for there to be adequate staff preparation.
vs.
If the staff is to prepare adequately, the Board of
directors must decide soon whether the company will install pollution control
equipment.
The date for the hearing was set by the Court.
vs.
The Court set the date for the hearing.
3. An example of a good reason: where the subject of
the sentence is an irrelevant detail.
President Clinton was re-elected by a 56% vote.
vs.
56% of adult voters re-elected President Clinton.
4. Another reason might be coherency - putting known
information at the beginning of the sentence. See immediately below.
For greater coherency, every sentence should build on a word in the
preceding sentence. Build from old information to new. Repetition
of words is O.K.
The plaintiff served the defendant with the
Statement of Claim. Several incidents concerning... were alleged in the
pleading.
vs.
The plaintiff served the defendant with the
Statement of Claim. The Statement of Claim alleged several incidents....
5. Use transitional or orienting words at the beginning
of sentences to signal to your reader where you are going
Transitional words: "for example", "therefore",
"however", "on the other hand", "further",
"moreover", "thus", "consequently",
"accordingly"
Orienting words: "for the most part", "as a general
rule", "historically"
David carefully carried the plate into the
room. He stumbled and dropped it on the floor, however.
vs.
David carefully carried the plate into the
room. However, he stumbled and dropped it on the floor.
6. Keep subject and verb together
The plaintiff, on every day except every-second
Wednesday, went to the corner store.
vs.
The plaintiff went to the corner store on every day
except every-second Wednesday.
7. Cut the fat
Throat clearing phrases (alert words: "it is" at the start
of a sentence; "it is important to note that", "it is the fact
that")
It is important to note that the plaintiff lived in
vs.
The plaintiff lived in
Redundant pairs (alert words: "and", "or",
"but")
If and when we can define and establish our final
aims and goals, each and every member of our group will be ready and willing to
offer aid and assistance.
vs.
If we can define our goals, every member of our
group will be ready to help.
Redundant modifiers (alert words: two or more adjectives or adverbs
modifying a single word):
In this world of today, official governmental
redtape is seriously destroying initiative among individual business
executives.
vs.
Today, government red tape is destroying initiative
among business executives.
Redundant categories (alert words: "activities",
"areas", "members")
In the area of educational activities, tight
financial conditions are forcing school board members to cut back in
nonessential areas in a drastic manner.
vs.
In education, tight finances are forcing school
boards to cut back drastically on nonessentials.
Meaningless modifiers (alert words: "generally",
"obviously"):
Most students generally find some kind of summer
work.
vs.
Most students find summer work.
Obvious implications (alert: sentences over 12 words):
Energy used to power our industries and homes will
in the years to come be increasingly expensive in terms of dollars and cents.
vs.
Energy will cost more.
Excessive detail (alert: sentences over 12 words)
A microwave oven that you might buy in any
department store uses less energy which is expensive than a convention oven
that uses gas or electricity.
vs.
Microwave ovens use less energy than conventional
ovens.
Using a long phrase instead of a single word (alert: sentences over 12
words):
A small sail-powered craft that has turned on its
side or completely over must remain buoyant enough so that it will bear the
weight of those individuals who were aboard.
vs.
A small sailboat that capsizes must float well
enough to support its crew.
Excessive discourse (alert: sentences
over 12 words):
It is almost certainly the case that, for the most
part, totalitarian systems cannot allow a society to settle into what we would
perceive to be stable modes of behaviour or, even more crucially perhaps,
stable relationships.
vs.
Totalitarian systems cannot allow a society to
settle into stable behaviour or stable relationships.
Double negatives:
There is no reason not to believe that engineering
malfunctions in nuclear energy systems cannot always be anticipated.
vs.
We can assume that malfunctions in nuclear energy
systems will surprise us.
8. Avoid "fudge" words
Fudge words: "generally", "basically",
"essentially", "apparently", "it appears that"
Fudge verbs: e.g. "indicated" rather than "stated"
9. Avoid superlatives
Avoid "obviously", "egregiously", "blatantly",
"clearly". They do not persuade.
10. Point first writing
The husband hit his wife with a metal rod.
She bled profusely. She went to the hospital. The doctor sewed up
her wound. However, she died from the injury. The coroner conducted
an inquiry. He called the husband as a witness. He declined to
testify, invoking his right to silence. The husband has no right to
silence in the coroner's inquiry in these circumstances.
vs.
The husband has no right to silence in the
coroner's inquiry in the circumstances of this case. In this case, the
husband hit his wife with a metal rod. She bled profusely. She went
to the hospital. The doctor sewed up her wound. However, she died
from the injury. The coroner conducted an inquiry. He called the
husband as a witness. He declined to testify, invoking his right to
silence.